My Little Ol Seizure: Or How to Screw Up a Perfectly Good Mid-Life Crisis

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Listening to her, I felt awkward, because her crossing, more than her economic views, had brought me here to Chicago. I wanted to know, What would it feel like to be a woman who was once a man? McCloskey revels in her multiple selves. I drift between one and the other. McCloskey, who has written 18 books and hundreds of papers, kept working throughout her crossing. But far from renouncing her free-market faith, she reaffirmed it in The Bourgeois Virtues , Bourgeois Dignity and Bourgeois Equality Collectively called The Bourgeois Era , the trilogy is an epic, 2,page love poem, dense with facts and statistics, dedicated to that class of peddlers, inventers, investors, manufacturers, managers, traders and hustlers called, usually disparagingly, the bourgeoisie.

Our species, McCloskey notes, has undergone countless crossings since its emergence in Africa a few hundred thousand years ago. One of the biggest was our transformation from nomadic hunter-gatherers to farmers, who settled down and accumulated surplus goods. Civilization soon followed, and yet for most of history the vast majority of humans lived a hand to mouth existence. Only toward the end of the 18 th century did humanity rise from its crushing poverty, first in Western Europe and then across the globe. Between and average incomes around the world, including the poorest as well as richest nations, grew by a factor of ten.

In affluent western nations, average incomes multiplied fold. Economists have attributed the Great Enrichment to various factors: The discoveries of Galileo, Newton and other scientific revolutionaries and the institutionalization of science. Steam engines, railroads, mass-manufacturing and other inventions that drove the Industrial Revolution. The rise of aggressive nationalism, along with wars of conquest, imperialism, colonialism. McCloskey traces the Great Enrichment to the cluster of ideas, sometimes called liberalism , enshrined in the American Declaration of Independence and other Enlightenment manifestos.

We are all equally deserving of respect and dignity. We all have the right to pursue our happiness, material as well as spiritual, as we see fit. We all matter , as Rebecca Goldstein would put it. McCloskey sees capitalism as the economic manifestation of our freedom. Another crucial cultural shift was growing respect for pursuit of wealth.

Actually, McCloskey asserts, trade-tested betterment has enriched us culturally, morally and spiritually as well as materially. Some prominent economists contend that war catalyzed the Great Enrichment by promoting innovation and economic growth. Far from fueling the Great Enrichment, war imperils it.

She acknowledges that the Great Enrichment has always been terribly incomplete, benefitting some races and places far more than others. But if we can avoid major wars, McCloskey said, the Great Enrichment will expand. Automation will continue to drive down the cost of goods, just as it has driven down the costs of food production. Since , the productivity of the average agricultural worker has increased fold. During a recent stay in Sweden, McCloskey visited a Volvo factory. We will adapt to climate change, too, not by scaling back our consumption but by inventing more energy-efficient technologies and methods for removing carbon from the atmosphere.

Democracy and free-market capitalism are imperfect, McCloskey acknowledged, but they are vastly preferable to communist, fascist or theocratic systems. Just to be clear: McCloskey is saying that we have already answered the collective version of the mind-body problem, which asks what we are, can be and should be.

The answer is that we should be bourgeois. And just to be really clear: I agree with her. Some of my lefty friends no doubt will react to this chapter by saying: You end your big inquiry into what humanity should be by saying we should be… bourgeois? They will point out that my subjects and I are all white, American academics. Of course we love bourgeois culture!

Our pretty good liberal utopia is the inverse of the monomaniacal ones that have gotten us into so much trouble in the past. Liberalism is a meta-mind-body story, even an anti-story. It rejects the ancient dream of a Supreme Story, a single, final, absolutely true answer to the question of who we are.

Far from eliminating identity crises, liberalism enables them, even encourages them, by giving us lots of options. It does not tell us who we are. It gives us the freedom and means to figure that out for ourselves. Free people keep deciding to make strange crossings, from storekeeper to monk or from civilian to soldier or from man to woman.

Do systems superior to democracy-plus-capitalism lurk out there in the multi-dimensional space of possible systems? If humanity went through an annealing process—triggered by a nuclear war, warming-induced surge in sea levels, viral pandemic, or pandemics of fascism or militant fundamentalism—might we crystalize into a better system for promoting self-exploration? Perhaps, but I hope never to see that conjecture tested. After violent disruptions, large societies often collapse into an inferior state, at least for the short-term.

Look at the bloodbaths that followed the French Revolution and communist seizures of Russia and China. Over the next century, developing nations in Africa, South America and elsewhere will catch up to the first world. Listening to McCloskey extoll the bourgeoisie, I kept thinking of my father. He grew up poor during the Depression, but he got a free education from the U. Naval Academy. After serving on a destroyer in World War II, he worked his ass off to create a good life for me and my four siblings, and I reviled him for it.

I showed my contempt for his bourgeois values by decorating my bedroom with communist iconography, brawny, rock-jawed workers gripping hammers and sickles and gazing bravely into the utopian future. Around that time, Soviets troops were crushing democratic uprisings in Czechoslovakia and elsewhere.

Our leaders mouthed platitudes about peace and freedom while bombing Southeast Asia and tolerating racism at home. I fantasized about an apocalyptic war, from the ashes of which would arise an anarchist hippy paradise. I spent years wandering around the country working odd jobs, trying to figure out who I was. My father and I made up decades ago. I admire him as much as anyone I know, and not just because he helped pay for my education. He is a good, big-hearted man, altruistic toward kin and non-kin alike. My father, also named John Horgan, in the late s with one of the perks of his job.

Marx, of all people, helped me appreciate the charm of the bourgeoisie. A decade ago, I started teaching a freshman humanities course, a required text of which is the Communist Manifesto. Marx and Engels complained that the bourgeoisie tramples all values in its quest for profits. Everything, including humans, becomes a commodity. Capitalism has undermined the authority of religion, nations, aristocracy, even families.

Marx and Engels even foresaw how capitalism would liberate women. The rise of literacy and gender equality? Sounds pretty good! Some scholars estimate that communist regimes were responsible for the deaths of more than million people in the 20 th century. He spoke, no, he preached with the fervor of a prophet who knows who we really are and should be. He has discovered the true, final answer to the collective version of the mind-body problem. His vision inspired devotees into taking action—and turned many into murderous zealots.

Ideologies like Christianity, Islam, Social Darwinism, eugenics and free-market economics have also inspired lethal zealotry. The lesson is clear. When we talk about our hopes for humanity, what we can be and should be, we should be humble. We should heed the advice of Owen Flanagan: Doubt yourself. We should think like engineers. Instead of seeking the final, absolutely true solution to our problems, we should just look for something that works.

McCloskey is humble, in her ebullient way. In her book The Rhetoric of Economics , she urges economists to acknowledge the subjectivity of their judgments, and their reliance on rhetoric. Writing about the Great Enrichment, McCloskey cites plenty of empirical evidence, but she never pretends to be wholly objective. Her affection for the bourgeoisie is clearly a matter of taste as well as truth. I still lean sharply left. In I brought the socialist firebrand Naomi Klein to my school. She argued, persuasively, that unrestrained capitalism spawned global warming , which has brought us to the brink of disaster.

But neither Klein nor any other left-leaning intellectual I know wants to abolish capitalism. They advocate reform, and so does McCloskey. At one point during our conversation, I confessed that in my youth I fantasized about a cataclysm that would sweep everything away, so we could start fresh. She sang, in her hoarse, scratchy voice, an old anarchist song:.

Anarchists in garrets, narrow and thin,. The last one was thrown by Brother Tom. Some day, we might even create a pluralistic utopia like the one Marx envisioned. Communism, Marx wrote, would free us from bondage to a single job or identity.

How American Politics Went Insane

My proposal is simple. Everyone, including those who put their faith in science, would accept once and for all that there is no Supreme Story, no single, objectively true answer to the mind-body problem, which tells us who we are. We would recognize that our belief in Supreme Stories has been harmful, the cause of tremendous suffering. Like: God created humans 6, years ago and gave my race, and my gender, dominion over yours. But in a pretty good liberal utopia you can, if you like, believe in a Supreme Story. You can be a Luddite, survivalist, communist, transhumanist or libertarian.

You can even be a fascist, racist, sexist dick. You are free to give up your freedom, but not to take freedom from others. My pretty good utopia is better than yours if mine allows yours and not vice versa. We still face lots of tough questions. How do we protect ourselves from violent apocalyptic cults, or corporations that subvert democracy to boost their power?

How can we raise the standard of living for all people without despoiling nature beyond repair? Should we fear or welcome technologies that can enhance our cognitive powers, maybe beyond recognition? Should those technologies be available for everyone or just those who can afford them? How do we ensure that everyone has a shot at becoming who she wants to be, as McCloskey did?

I overflowed with affection for humanity, for the bourgeoisie, for my father, for McCloskey. What a wonderful subject! I jotted down impressions in a notebook. Cowardice compels most of us to accept the destinies thrust upon us by biology and upbringing, nature and nurture, but not McCloskey. Soldiers dodging bullets and bombs are doing what their culture demands.

Listening to her, I kept thinking, What would it feel like to be that brave? McCloskey and her crossing gave me my happy ending. Brave souls like her make it easier for the rest of us to explore ourselves. They expand our freedom, our choices. Her crossing was hard, but the fact that she succeeded is yet more evidence of our moral and material progress.

Later Sunday morning, after McCloskey walked Shakespeare and Virginia Woolf, we sipped coffee on her big red couch and resumed our conversation. McCloskey, who was dressed for church, seemed subdued. When I told her how much I admired her courage, she smiled and shook her head. She hates talking over the telephone, because her stutter sometimes grips her. She worries about death and decrepitude.

Temperamentally, and as a matter of principle, she tends to be upbeat.

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She loves artists like Matisse and Chagall, who see the beauty in spite of everything. His family died in Holocaust. He had every reason to be pessimistic. But you can be too optimistic, McCloskey said. McCloskey, who was baptized at an Episcopalian church in Iowa City shortly after her crossing, views humanity as sinful. She compares her faith in God to her faith in democracy. So we live in a world with disease, aging, earthquakes, tsunamis and infinite varieties of human cruelty. It was late morning, time for me to head home and for McCloskey to attend mass.

We walked out of her apartment together and stopped on the sidewalk outside her building. We shook hands. What many of us want from a mind-body story, above all, is assurance that everything is going to be okay. McCloskey, for all her optimism, shores up her faith in the bourgeoisie with faith in God. Alison Gopnik pointed out that many Americans do not accept basic liberal values, such as tolerance for homosexuality.

Christof Koch, in spite of his cheerful temperament, might have the gloomiest view of the future. He worried about nuclear terrorism, environmental catastrophes and disruptions triggered by artificial intelligence. Machines might eventually outsmart us and take all our jobs, he said. Rebecca Goldstein said intellectuals have a responsibility to be realistic, not optimistic. But at any given moment, the world offers infinite reasons for feeling good or bad about the future. It comes down to a choice: optimism or pessimism?

As a young man, I was profoundly pessimistic. After the Cold War ended and I became a father, I swerved toward optimism. I like to think my optimism is rational, based on truth more than taste. The first step toward creating a better world, I tell myself, is believing it is possible. But to be honest, my optimism is based on faith, a gut feeling. Robert Trivers and Douglas Hofstadter, who look unflinchingly at the brutality of nature, especially human nature, would no doubt find my optimism sentimental, and perhaps they are right. I might be suffering from gladsadness , delusional happiness.

Sometimes I feel like a silly old fool for thinking that things are going to be okay. Nostalgia as well as outrage brought us together. At one point we got swept up in a mob in black boots, pants, hoodies and facemasks racing through the streets. They smashed windows of shops and cars, obstructed traffic, knocked over garbage cans, detonated M80s or some other powerful firecracker and fought with helmeted, club-wielding, mace-spraying police.

Robert and I managed to escape the melee un-harmed. Me in Washington, D. My pal Robert Hutchinson took the photo. I was glad to get back to my students in Hoboken. They want to be engineers, computer scientists, physicians, financial analysts, inventors, entrepreneurs. But they worry about whether things are going to be okay. They fret over melting ice caps, viral epidemics, nuclear terrorism, robots taking their jobs. To boost their spirits, I give them my utopia pep talk. A utopia must do more than make everyone happy, I tell them.

You can easily imagine a society in which brain implants, drugs or genetic engineering make you feel good but your life is meaningless because you have no choices. Freedom is essential. The more freedom a society gives its citizens, the closer it is to utopia. Making freedom your core value comes with complications. Some people might find freedom overwhelming.

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They might think there is such as a thing as too many choices. A free society can choose to become less free. When I was a kid, abortion was illegal in some states. So was inter-racial marriage and homosexuality. You could end up in prison for having consensual gay sex. Laws prohibiting abortion, miscegenation and homosexuality have been abolished.

Now gay people can get married. You can do things unimaginable a century ago, I tell my students, because of advances in science and technology. You can microwave frozen pizzas and take hot showers whenever you feel like it. You can fly across oceans and continents. With a few swipes of your smart phone, you can access virtually infinite knowledge. When you get out of this school, you can work to solve the problems that oldsters like me have dumped on you.

You can help design better solar panels, electric cars, gene therapies, desalinization plants. Because I like bragging about cool people I know, I mention a big-shot economist I once interviewed who has a really upbeat view of the world. She thinks we have so many choices, compared to almost everybody who has ever lived, that we already live in a kind of utopia. When she was in her 50s, she had a sex-change operation.

Imagine the future you want, and create it, and your kids will have even more choices than you do. I mean, if you want kids, no pressure. Answer in any way you like, I say, serious or light-hearted. The truth is the truth. When you have an uneven situation, when an institution has lots of power and money, and you, as patient, have few resources, that institution can lie all they want. Whose side will the law be on? You change doctors if you can. I still think the truth tends to win out in the end, though.

Or I hope so. I have a rare condition called hereditary angioedema. Many physicians may not know about it unless they have had a patient with it, or unless they are in a certain specialty that deals with it. It is swelling not caused by histamine, but bradykinen problems. It is a strange, traveling edema that usually starts on the left side of my face, then goes down slowly through the throat and GI tract. When I worked as an RN in a small hospital in St. Helena, CA, of which that is the hospital name, I was unfairly discriminated against when I went to the ER for throat swelling.

I was hoping one of the good doctors would be on call, but I got Dr. Mishkin instead. Yes, I will use his name. Because I have had this condition since I was six years old, I was trying to explain the history and the fact that my mother also had it. I know as an RN, most doctors want to know the history of a patient.

This one, however, said it was exacerbation of asthma, but I was only wheezing when the fluid got to the trachael area of my throat. I was not wheezing when it started, two hours before I came to the ER, or after the fluid passed down past the larygeal area. IV steroids did not work, antihistamines did not work. I really tried to give this doctor a good history when I could talk.

When this fluid got down to mid sternal area, it really was painful. I asked for some pain medication but he deliberately withheld it as he thought I was drug seeking. I was assertive because I know he was with-holding pain medication. I know as an RN that is against the Joint Commission standards and policies. No doctors believed my condition during that hospitalization, or consulted with an ENT as they know about it. My problem is, them not even believing anything I said about this. I was so surprised. I felt so bad I cannot explain it in words and was so angry about this documentation from him as he took his anger out in my medical records.

He just thought I would not get them. I wrote the hospital administration about this situation, the medical director as well. I had three medical errors made,one in the ER, and two from the hospitalist who admitted me. A nice lady who went to Johns Hopkins, but was neglectful and used medical records from a year before to write orders, which were all different than now.

She ordered a medication that was also documented in my allergies. These two errors are so basic that no one should ever make them. Since medical records are electronic, I knew I would not be able to take what the ER doctor said out. Physicians can amend records,if they want to, at least in California. Another ER physician who is a good doctor, also wrote his own value judgements, questioning if I ever took meth. He questioned this so much and did a drug screen, when I was in the ER for chest pain. I am glad he did because it was all negative.

I called the California Medical Board and talked with a lady there. She told me that it is illegal to write lies about a patient in medical records. I knew it was, but what could I do about it? She said just talk with him. I knew I would not do that but reported it in written form to administration. This whole situation hurt me so much for a long time. Most doctors I have had through the years have been pretty good and fairly easy to talk with.

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All you have to do is go to medical records, sign a form, and they will give them to you. It is your right. I want to know what is being put in my files. Any help would be great…Eman from Phoenix Az. I think the hospital knew I could take them to court so they made me look as uncredible as possible. Our son-in-law has head trauma and keeps having seizures. He has bleeding on the brain. He was in a car accident last month. He in icu at Pikeville medical center. Harmon is 26 years old a recovering addict.

Clean for over 7 months. There treating him like a active addict which he is not. They told him he should be dead already. There treating him awlful. Scaring him to dsath. What can we do? Please help us. Really important to find a good doctor you can have a caring relationship with. Kind of like finding the right husband.

my little ol seizure or how to screw up a perfectly good mid life crisis Manual

You have to date a few of the wrong guys before you find the right one. It is no longer possible. No such thing as a good doctor. They are too quick to make conclusions, and base those conclusions on poor practices, word of mouth by other doctors. Seeing another physician changes nothing. Modern technology makes it impossible to be free of cover-ups by medical professionals, bad medicine, or poor interpretations. I lost everything many years ago, and continue to fight against PTSD.

No point in it anymore. Looking for a means to an end so that I do not end up in the hospital: helpless, vulnerable, and at their mercy. Never going to happen to me again. Looking for a means so that I do not end up in the hospital: helpless, vulnerable, and at their mercy. Cannot edit what I have sent, and just realized how it might be interpreted.

I am NOT suicidal…thank you very much…smile. I am experiencing a nightmare right now. I am in Southern Oregon and cannot find a good primary care physician. I just got my hopes up and had a great first visit with the new one only to have him turn on me radically the next visit which was yesterday. I see a pain clinic and am trying to switch because of what they did to me. They are pill mills and put me in danger on Morphine I cannot tolerate.

I have never been treated like this before. I was started on pain meds decades ago. I lost my patience and fired them and they called my brand new primary and whatever they told him resulted in pure hatred from him without explanation. All plans to take care of long neglected past surgical, injuries, autoimmune disorder…. This pain clinic felt like a Nazi concentration camp.

I am in real trouble. Doctors here are all capped. How can this happen? Everything was fine before I went on Medicare. The timeline is very telling. I have been profiled and retaliated against for filing a complaint about inappropriate narcotic dispensing. What do I do now? Medicare is really challenging for doctors and sometimes puts a wedge between the sacred doctor-patient relationship. As for your situation now: I would consider paying out of pocket to a doctor outside of Medicare.

Check map on my website for ideal clinics. You definitely need a doctor who you can have a healing relationship with! I agree with Pamela. Go to someone and pay out of pocket. I was a patient whistleblower myself. I have been to a whistleblower site but cannot get a response since the site is geared toward employees and they are looking for people in high-powered jobs, not lowly patients.

Retaliation is real, legal or not they will stop at nothing. Never go in feeling entitled. Be willing to try what new docs suggest even if you think you know better. Docs are scientists. They conduct experiments with what they have at hand on what seems to be bothering you. That being said, if you get a hurried, hostile vibe from a doc at the first visit, look elsewhere ASAP. Did u make a complaint to medicare Re inappropriate pain med dispensing re this pain clinic.

Did u already fire these docs at this clinic before going To medicare. If u did, then medicare probably checked into Your allegation and may have fined them or are doing an investigation. They are the ones that probably blackballed You in the first place. Remember, you may need them once you are a certain Age. SO, your Complaint to Medicare is not being taken lightly.

They probably Went after this clinic. And I also would like to know How are you not going to provide records. I have the opposite problem you have and I am Being undermedicated while currently going through an acute Exacerbation of a. Very painful neurological disease. I have one of those medicare advantage plans. Also, I read one of my other doctors medical records and I have Been profiled as a drug seeker because of this doc writing A very libelous statement re my appearance, mood, etc.

He also Wrote many other lies, distortions of the truth, statements taken out of original context, omitted statements and the list Goes on. I plan to disenroll but I am afraid other Providers will be biased towards me. But, I cannot tolerate Being with their doctors anymore. As for me, I am going to see what the Americans with Disability Act has to say about refusal to adequately treat A patient in pain. I am disabled by this pain, unable to work Because of severity of pain.

It is a Human Right to have pain treated adequately. I hope my feedback has helped you. Patients with Chronic Pain need to stick together. I habe been discriminated and judged by nurses and doctors when they find out that I am seeing a Pain Management doctor, this one nurse completely changed the way she spoke to me and treated me since. I understand. I have no choice but to live with pain management. Walgreens treated me like a criminal. I have never even had a ticket in my life. Our crimes??? Living with diseases, illnesses and severe pain.

The real criminals are the ones who judge those of us who struggle just to get by daily. Does anyone think I enjoy living half a life, or anyone with chronic pain? We would gladly hand them back to you for a life free of pain, a life free of insomnia and a life free of your ignorance.

Hang in there. We are all in this together. Believe me! Until i started reading here, i thought i was alone. Im probably replying to this late, but i spent 5 hours today crying between phone calls to various doctors and insurance offices. It just feels hopeless. I brought a food journal, which she claimed to have taken a copy and read, so she either just thought i was lying or didnt read my notes, which means shes a liar. Trying to find care any where now is impossible. Im beimg blocked everywhere i call. Im terrified of even going and feel like id be wasting my copay and insurance cap to pay to be mocked.

I totally agree with you Martigras. I have my best friend drive me to all of my appointments as well, because 3 years ago I was diagnosed with disease number 34, CRPS, and was told not to drive if at all possible. Just stopped me instantly which is extremely dangerous and the withdrawals have me wanting to kill myself. It is that bad. But he did let me have my prescription for the 10 m.

I asked him what I was supposed to do about the horrid withdrawals and again why was he doing this to me? By then I was crying. I already take 2 m. Xanax for GAD and have for 24 years! Valium has never done anything for me. He gives me two, 10 m. As with the majority of pain management doctors, mine is an Anesthesiologist. And most of them just love giving those spinal epidural injections even though the majority of my diseases and illnesses that cause me chronic intractable pain have nothing whatsoever to do with my spine, but yes I do have severe osteoporosis and several fractured discs, bulging, torn and herniated as well.

He has never even really cared about any of my other diseases or illnesses. Just concentrates on my spine. The month prior to this appointment, he had asked me to get a letter from my Endocrinologist who had already sent two letters last year and the year prior to that, telling him to STOP giving me the injections because the steroids were destroying my bones and making my severe osteoporosis even worse. He did not care and I had to keep agreeing to get them. Anyway, my Endocrinologist called me after reading my email asking for yet another letter. We had a nice talk and a few days later he sent me the letter to give to my pain management doctor.

My previous specialist prior to getting in with this doctor was a Rheumatologist. And the Neurologist I was seeing said I would never be a candidate for spinal surgery and to never let anyone do it. He told me if they tried to put in any hardware, my bones would just crumble. Somehow I managed to inherit the osteoporosis at an earlier age than most people.

My father had it so bad he lost 8 inches in height. And he got it from his mother and her legs were so deformed with it that poor woman suffered so badly from that. No one would give her anything for the pain. God it was horrendous for her and my father as it is now for me. Having those injections, and he gave way too many in a year, caused more pain than you can being to imagine.

Love Narratively? So do we.

He just simply did not care. He is all about the money those bring in. The first one he ever gave me, he missed and I literally jumped up off the table. I ended up having the most horrible spinal headache OMG! Oh it was terrible. The man has no real medical personnel working for him at all. After the injections he leaves immediately. The doctor or someone with medical experience is supposed to stay with you for at least up to 15 minutes after having one of those. All they do is take my blood pressure and make me sit there for 10 minutes and I go back to the exam room, wait on him to come in with my prescriptions, one of the scribes sets up my next appointment and we leave.

And something else he never does that has always bothered me and is a violation of my privacy, he never closes the exam room door. He has had me pull down my pants, pull up my blouse with other patients right across from me or walking down the hallway. They can hear everything discussed which should be kept private and see everything as well. My friend that takes me finally got sick of it at one point, got up, closed the exam room door and the doctor got upset and opened it back up and put the chair in front of it like they all are done.

Patients have a right to privacy with their doctors! Before I got in with this doctor, I was seeing another one who I found out a few months into seeing him, had been in trouble with the State Medical Board for prescribing himself opioids. He was on 3 years probation the few months I saw him. He even had a Deputy Sheriff that sat up at the front desk and he was the one who handed you your prescription after inputting it into the computer. Until I called my Neurologist and he had me come in and totally freaked out about what I was going through and telling me how dangerous it was to just have the stopped like that.

That it is considered a medical emergency and I should have gone to the hospital and been admitted and given my Morphine. Anyway, he of course ended up helping me until I could get into my current pain doctor. He made a point to let me know if that EVER happened again, to go straight to see him and he would help me out. I wish he was still here! And the pain from the CRPS is the worst pain of anything you could have. Worse than amputation. I found out this disease has no cure and it often affects every organ in the body and many people die from this.

It also affects the skin, veins, arteries, you name it. It is caused by damage to the sympathetic nerve and it can be something you did that was as minor as stubbing a toe. It also causes osteoporosis and needless to say, it has made mine even worse. The bones in my lower legs are deforming and getting worse.

The pain from that is terrible. You mean if I was in a car wreck and all busted up or fell and broke bones you would not give me something more for the pain? They never answer that one. My friend and I went to the State Medical Board the next week after that appointment and I filed a formal complaint against him, and they were to have done something by now, but I have not heard one word. Doctors cannot withhold the very medications you need for the diseases and illnesses you were declared disabled from! My ankles have atrophied to the point I can no longer bend them. My legs are so bad and the pain as I stated earlier, is worse than what I have had going on for over a decade.

It would probably send you off into a huge flare. Anyway, my primary care doctor said he would help me. I cannot take the Clonidine and that stuff is so nasty and I had so many issues after trying to take it years ago when I went those 3 weeks going through withdrawals I just cannot take it. Plus it interacts with so many of my other medications especially my heart meds. God it made everything so much worse. And then once you finish that nasty crap, you have to be weaned off of it too because it causes withdrawals too.

That was also one of my reasons for the report I made against her to the hospital administrator. I realized it was serious and needed to be in a safe place for my own protection. Every urine sample I gave upon admission was negative because I was not using drugs and I told her to check my chart for that information. She just looked at me with this hateful look in her eyes and stormed off the unit. Some one is upset abowt typos or perhaps just mispelling. I would personully never make a egregious speeing error. And …. Mainly—she was top of her class, an immigrant and a female.

She liked that response and showed me her first smile. I was denied hysterectomy for thirteen years just because I look like I am not quite all there. By the time I was granted hysterectomy, it was nearly too late. Even so, my gynaecologist said I could not have surgery without parental consent in spite of being I have a physician friend who was denied a tubal ligation because they did not believe she could make that decision as a 26 year old. She got it done eventually. No kids. Same thing hapoened to me. My uterus was enlarged to 3x normal size with endometriosis, masses, scar tissue, bleeding spots, and those spider web scars that form between orgams that i cant remember the name of currently.

My first surgery for reproductive systems, i was 11 years old. I am so sorry you feel that way, mine is 2 years older than me and is a God send! All doctors are not the issue. A particular age is. All doctors are brainwashed though. I felt that way too. His whole demeanor changed when he found out I was a nurse and did research… and oh, yeah, I had terrible arm pain.

Besides taking an xray for rotator cuff tear he spent the entire visit arguing with me about getting an opioid Rx. I was assaulted and my head smashed on the pavement. I suffer with post concussion headaches. My doctor finally gave me Percocet for the pain. I have to wait almost a month to get into a pain clinic but they want me to up my anxiety meds more vs dealing with the pain.

Probably an emergency room visit for me again. So dumb. I had a concussion 2 years ago; drove myself to Urgent Care and got nothing for pain and was told no OTC analgesics either, no xrays, etc. I too am a victim of patient profiling. Im pretty much textbook bullied by my surgeons. On June 17 I went into surgery to repair a strangulated umbilical hernia, I developed an infection shortly after and the wound opened up.

I suffered for three days with fevers excess of my dr made me wait until my appointment to be seen, I asked for some relief but was refused. Long story short the surgeon put me down as a self mutilator due to some scars on my arms that were at least 15 years or more old accusing me of possibly contaminating my wound, I finally went to a new hospital system for help all went well until my surgeons records were requested.

This has been going on a year now where I have developed post surgery abdominal abscesses for unknown reason and I have been labeled as possible munchousen sp I even was assessed by a psychologist and passed with flying colors no mental illness. Recently I developed another abscess and it has been discovered that my bowel has been leaking and I will need a resection surgery to correct it, but due to the way I have been treated im quite frankly scared to go back to the hospital.

I KNOW the terror. I was more scared of abuse in another hospital than death itself. I know exactly what you mean Julie. At this stage I would like to see what is legally possible, but cannot afford a lawyer. Sorry to hear that. I wish you the best and hope things can turn for the better for you. I have been through hell to but I am ready to file suit. Doctors in my own family are saying do it and I understand how hard it is to get through medical school but this is unacceptable.

I am responding to this commenter because I cannot post my own independent comment on mobile. My psychiatrist mistakenly gave me a document stating all of his diagnoses of me. Two of which he never disclosed to me in consultation PTSD and non specified personality disorder. I just left a message on his machine requesting explanation.

What else should I do? Am I overreacting? What should I do before something gets worse? It is a horrible husband and wife team there now that berate new patients and out right tell you to figure out if you are wasting your time. I recorded this visit. In the end I was diagnosed with an infection thru bloodwork I am sick and was told he would not treat it.

Dear Wible. I no Iron in and all blood levels were very low. Vitamin D. Then in I bowel and bladder repair using the mesh. That surgery did turn out well and I had to have to cut the mesh. I feel I being profiled. I could write a book. Think I am crazy. Labeled chronic pain after rear ended; two unnecessary surgeries gone south, still labeled chronic pain. Given mega opiated; got off them but, no help from military hospital where there are tons of incriminating evidence.

Mayo also denied care after hernia repair gone wrong — chronic pain. It takes real strength. Since October I have had some female issues. I am 55, had 3 c-section births, endeometreosis 3 times, and a partial-hysterectomy in Upon a regular checkup in , I went to a nurse practitioner recommended by my mother-in-law. Then, after having some spotting 4 times in 5 months, I decided to go to practioner to be examined the first week in June All 3 of my younger sisters have had endeometreosis each in different cases, along with fibromyalgia.

So I have had a concern because of my symptoms. The practitioner ordered a urine test to rule out a uti. I have had reoccurring bladder infections since the birth of my first child, so I knew it was negative. She also ordered bloodwork and did a swab on me. This all took place from a Tuesday to Friday. Monday I got a call that the swab was negative and Tuesday a call on my bloodwork. Different lady than from swab results.

She was nasty saying I needed to get blood check more than once a year. My husband is self-employed and we have insurance with Christian families to pay as we go and help with major expenses. Then I was prescribed a cream my husband picked up without consulting me. I was sooo upset that I was in tears. First, this cream listed reactions that are the same as my symptoms and warnings to not use for those with MY medical and family history in addition to congestive heart failure, which my dad died of at age I could not get practitioner to call me herself and out of left field, the third call I was told to use the cream and schedule to see a gynecologist.

I have him listed to access my records. He stood in the lobby window and asked 3 times to speak to someone in private. They ignored him and he was forced to tell my situation with patients and other staff around. An office manager was supposed to call me about the rudeness and my situation, but that never happened. We tried a couple more times through the end of June with no results. They would be fined but I would not get any compensation for myself. I just finished a letter requesting my records. That is horrible!! This is what happens when there is a breakdown in the sacred patient-physician relationship.

Too many cooks in the kitchen and nobody knows the stove is on. Believe me, we did not go to medical school to treat patients like crap. Third parties have inserted themselves in between doctors and patients and created a culture of chaos and distrust that makes it very hard to provide health care. Wish you lived down the street. There is a map of ideal clinics on my website.

Check it out and maybe I can help you find a new more ideal doctor. I agree. Profit over patient care is the norm when it comes to these large and powerful institutions. Bad experiences are incentive for those of us without money to find new and innovative ways to get well. I am amazed at how well people do once they realize that you CAN take your body back from corporate control.

I had a filling that I needed to get done by on my lower left tooth professionally referred to as When they placed the original crown in my mouth, I absolutely loved the way my smile looked and felt. That was because my smile felt more symmetrical and I felt prettier, which was a significant psychological benefit as a trans person actively seeking to transition. However, my doctor made a minor adjustment to the crown, which tragically led to that feeling being ripped from me, as my smile went back to the way it was before, which was a problem for me.

Disgruntled and feeling completely disempowered as a trans person, my doctor and his staff not only repeatedly misgendered me, but also used my lack of presentation in feminine clothing as a piece of evidence with which to patient profile me as drug addled after a mildly contentious dispute, wherein I questioned their authority as a dental official, the dispute was about the crown that was originally doctored and I was asking if that situation could be remedied. That being said, I am looking for a new doctor; someone with equal credentials but better patient service in the area.

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I wrote this post inquiring as to whether or not I had a legal options for being unfairly patiently profiled? In NYS trying to find a lawyer to hire is like finding a doctor for reasonable medial care…. We need to organize ourselves… not just doctors or patients… that puts up barriers. Joss, this is just my opinion, but part of the problem is that physicians have considerably to put it mildly more funds than you do to get the finest attorneys, malpractice insurance, the power to label you as any kind of person they want to and unfortunately much of society still has the opinion that because they are in a position of being held up as more respectable, unquestionably honest and of a better class of people than Mr.

Joe Citizen…that they are not to be questioned about even obviously bad behavior. Some people are even in awe of them and would never question their judgement or morals. They are human beings just like you and I and just as flawed…believe me. They are in a position of power and trust and have the ability and means to decide if you will live or die. Think about it. They make judgements based on your physical condition because they have confidential information regarding your health history and have been trained to do physical examinations and be aware of a serious medical condition you could possibly have such as a serious heart problem or a deterioration of your vision that leads to blindness.

Anesthesiologists have your body in an altered state on an operating table and have control of your very life when you are completely vulnerable, they order testing of all kinds and have the knowledge of those results, your complete medical history, allergies some of which can be deadly for you if you are very sensitive to a certain drug and cause you to go into say, anaphylactic shock which can kill you and prescribe medications that you trustingly put into your body without question unless you are a sceptic like some people I know lol or just are a fairly informed person who checks out a PDR first…a book that gives info on drugs commonly used by medical professionals…there are books out there not as complicated that are more understandable for the general public, before putting anything in your body lol.

Enough of this rant. I guess after you get burned a few times you just get a bit jaded. I dread the day he retires. I have had some really great doctors and some not so great, But a couple I have had as my doctor or have worked with in a medical setting had the truth be known…OH MY! Need I say more? I am very imperfect and do not mean to sound holier than thou, but have the need to get certain things off my chest. I have heard of someone who was a patient that almost died when in a very good smallish hospital that was given a drug or combination of drugs that came close to killing them and had to rushed to a major medical center and it was hushed up.

Outrageous sounding but a true story.! My doctor profiled me as a Hypochondriac as a teenager. She was convinced that everything I experienced was related to puberty stress. However, when the symptoms continued long after puberty and even multiplied, she insisted they were due to the stress of college.

Many of these symptoms were serious red flags like unexplained weight gain, insomnia, depression, very dramatic mentrations and the delays between them, unexplained periods of extremely high blood pressure, etc. I rarely ever get anxious about anything without due cause, and these were very serious symptoms that needed to be addressed. So, to be labeled as someone with GAD was an incredible insult to both myself and people who truly suffer from it! It was a humiliating experience that I never want to go through again! He prescribed them and it helped so much.

In addition, I am forced to fill out a long survey about my smoking every time I go for a visit. I have to listen to some young girl lecture me about smoking for ten minutes before seeing the doctor on every visit as well. I have already had a doctor misdiagnose me. Thank god my child does not have it! This doctor totally dismissed my symptoms because I am a smoker. Can I sue my current doctor for discrimination? Punishing me does not encourage me to quit. Do the folks with diabetes get a survey on how many bags of chips they eat?

Do diabetics get medication withheld that could relieve their suffering? Does some 19 year old come in and give them a lecture on putting down the fork? Just wondering…. Good points. Health care by robot automatons. By electronic medical record prompts and algorithms. Generally you have to prove a bad outcome due to deviation from community standard of care. Assembly-line medicine is not health care. Thank you for caring enough to just talk about this subject.

Please stop assuming every patient is drug seeking, lying, uneducated, homeless, overweight, a wife beater, a child abuser or beneath you, simply due one fact…they did not walk your path. Your path of opportunity. They all will be a patient one day and if there is justice they will remember every patient they misjudged and mistreated.

We never intended to harm anyone. We came to medical school just wanting to help people. Sadly, we were dehumanized in our training and abused. Hey, I am an other statistic. I have been in chronic pain for fifteen years, Pudental Neauralgia and IC. Nerve pain can not be seen by the naked eye nor the best X-Ray equipment. Every doctor acted the same, dismissive, looked at me as if I was a pill instead of a human being who needed support. I received no medication. My anxiety heighten every time I had to see a physician. My fear of mental abuse keep me away from clinics, even when I needed help.

My anxiety got so bad I could not stand, becoming weak and numb. I finally made an appointment, hopeful for some guidance, the whole visit I sobbed uncontrollably. She told me to do yoga, and said I was to complicated for the clinic. I was dismissed with no medication or any direction. I was devastated! I can not stop crying, feeling abandoned. I am seeking a phychiatrist hoping and praying he will help me.

We all need to talk about our experices to support each other. Remember you are not alone. Write your State Senator to help pass a law against physicians profiling and discrimination. We have a disease of chronic pain that needs support, compassion, understanding, and Love. I am in a situation now my health is being neglected. I recently got my disability because I have such severe neuropathy I fall, I want feel my feet and I will just fall. These are not even the only medical problems I have. But I had a doctor for near 20 years had me on strong pain meds for the problems.

I had a good job and Insurance. Then I lost my job and I fought for 3 years to pay for my Insurance under cobra. And then lost out my unemployment stopped. Well In the meantime I was loosing everything my trailer my car got repossessed. And had to move into a hotel well both my daughters were living with me and we had to have an apartment type suite so I had to have a boarder to share expenses so I let a friend of mines daughter also live with us she was 29 just like my married daughter and my youngest was almost Well one of them or there friends stole a zanax RX from me and even though I was going to prosecute my own family, I had police report and turned it over to the FBI not only did the doctor cut me off and also did not take me seriously neither did the FBI.

So I have been through hell even getting my disibility. Thank god I did. But the doctor that helped me was 90 years old and retired. He referred me to the pain clinic at this county clinic that is for less fortunate and I was treated kindly at first he retired and within 6 months I was discharged out of the clinic. Mine is a long story and this is only a short portion of it. But I am starting to think I am crazy and need to see psychiatric help.

And this is very serious and true. Thanks for Listening Donna in Birmingham. You are not crazy Donna! This past November after 25 years of trying to get a diagnosis for the low back and hip pain I had been experiencing along with constant GI issues, I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Ehler Danlos Syndrome, and Fibromyalgia.

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I have lost joints due to fusion. There is still a preconceived notion among Doctors that women cannot have AS. I have been prescribed anti-depressants to deal with what I know now is an autoimmune disorder, and a genetic condition that allows too much space in my joints which causes constant pain. I do not even ask for opiates due to the stigma attached to it anymore. I have had pharmacists refuse to fill my scripts. I have had emergency rooms refuse to prescribe anything stronger than Tylenol.

If Tylenol worked I would take it and never need medical intervention. I have given birth to four children and that did not hurt worse than a AS flare. It is a sad day when Doctors who swore an oath to do no harm are more concerned of a malpractice suit due to narcotics than actually caring for the patient in front of them. It is a sad day when patients are required to urinate in a cup to receive medication.

No other class of patients are required to submit a urine screen to obtain their meds. Some medications are equally as addicting. It cannot but appear we are profiled and targeted. For me it would be easy to obtain verification through my medical records that I do indeed have a condition, infact several, that causes chronic pain. I know enough to make sure I see the same doctors for my conditions.

I go to the same pharmacy yet I know I am in a database identifying me as an opiate user. No other information as to diagnosis or medical history is in that database. A pharmacist has the power to deny me the medication prescribed by my Doctor based solely on this information. It is such a frustration to be chronically ill, have chronic pain, and be treated like an addict.

That is why I started the Ankylosing Spondylitis Project and we work with another group, Patients not Addicts, to attempt to change this. Doctors need to hear us. They need to see us as patients with underlying medical conditions. They need to fight for us and with us. We need them. We also need to be treated like patients.

The current status of our medical system is a heart beat away from negligence. People will die either by their own hands or by a system that is set up to judge them before treating them. Currently there are million chronic pain patients in the US. Furthermore, alternative medicine to treat chronic pain often is not covered by insurance.

Physical Therapy for an incurable disease that I am restricted to just 5 visits a year. It is like the CDC did not even think about the repercussions of their own guidelines. That forcing people off medication that they did well on, with no history of abuse, would likely send people to meets with drug dealers willing to prescribe Heroine. Congrats to the CDC they just made drug dealers a lot richer. THis is often the problem with prohibition type laws and guidelines.

Those guidelines were also full of misleading and false data. It ends up pulling the cart before the horse. Less than 5 percent of chronic pain patients abuse their meds. So who are these guidelines targeting? They will have the exact opposite result because most people abusing opiates are not buying them legally anyway. That is the most frustrating thing about this. Also Doctors should be angry- as we are moving away from patient centered care. My son is severely disable with Ankylosing Spondilitis.

I knew he had the same thing I had when he buckled over while dining in a restaurant. I had no idea it was hereditary. When I was in teens I was informed by a GP that if I ever stopped moving I would be in a wheelchair within a few years. Physiotherapy and dance kept the worst at bay for me, but since the cancer surgery the chest tube was left in for nine weeks I have some serious issues. No one will listen. They refuse to believe me. Overweight patients get profiled all the time.

She was complaining of hip pain. Her doctor told her to lose weight and exercise. Finally tests were done but by then the cancer was extensive and she died 7 months later. I always wondered if she had been a thin pretty young thing if she would have had a different outcome. I also have been overweight my entire life. My weight varies 20 up, 20 down.

I am active and work steady. I ride my bike, eat healthy and at 61 have no medical problems except my tendency to be a larger woman. I have mitochondrial disease. Pain is also a huge issue with mitochondrial disease and it was very hard to get pain meds and I was often treated like a drug addict. I have many needs as a patient with mitochondrial disease and very little assistance from the medical community. It makes me want to scream. I have had a patient with mitochondrial disease. I had to read a lot about it, but I really enjoyed taking care of him.

Hope you stay curious and keep trying things. I was told I had mitochondrial disease by a colorado Neuro. I moved to florida this year and found a new Neuro whom I had called and asked if he would take me as a patient. He started me on mito cocktail. I saw him this week and after asking how I was doing, I told him I was still choking and had hand weakness making the use of my cane difficult.

He also bullied me because I keep refusing cymbalta for pain. Telling me if I was really in pain I would take something. I will never see another Neuro again. I sometimes frequent the Er for multiple health problems. To later find out I have endometriosis which was causing my pain and excessive bleeding not a UTI. I then after having the endometriosis was back to visiting the hospital for pain in my lower abdomen and was given multiple pain meds because that is what they thought I had wanted. In result of the multiple pain meds I miscarried the child I was carrying and was implanting which was the result of the pain.

Another time I was profiled I was in psychiatric unit after trying to commit suicide. I felt it was the only way away from my abusive ex husband. While there I was given geodone an anti psychotic and ended up having a hard time swallowing uncontrollable movements of my tongue and my mouth was in a permanent smile. I found out I was allergic to the geodone. This is so sad.