Confessions of a Working Woman
Because as women, we tend to compare ourselves to others and as a result, undermine our own impact on the people around us. We limit our ability to do really great things in the world because rather than focusing on what we can do, we end up focusing on what we can't. Rather than celebrate our success, we replay our failures.
No matter how hard we try, the good we do or the lives we change, it's not enough -- ever. If you're a type A person, I imagine you can relate. Yet, I want to demystify this myth of perfection that we pursue for ourselves and envy in others. Yes, even that size 0 mom who drives the candy red BMW, whose hair is perfectly coifed every day, who attends each soccer game, volunteers at school daily and owns her own law firm, even she isn't perfect. Stop comparing yourself to her. Professional speaking is a big part of my job.edumacoltd.com/images/sobagejun/3162.php
Tina Fey: Confessions of a Working Mother | The New Yorker
When I'm on stage, I make a point of showing my flaws. I don't paint my nails I'm a mom of two, which means I clean, cook and garden -- can't do that with fake nails or at least I can't , leave small scuff marks on my shoes does anyone really have time to polish them before catching a flight? I don't want women to think I'm perfect, but instead human and flawed, just like them. As women, we are more alike than we are different. Sadly, we don't talk about those similarities often enough.
Here are a few of my own confessions. See if you can relate: 1. I Feel Constant Pressure: I love being an entrepreneur, speaking, writing, consulting and giving to the world. Yet, I am oftentimes paralyzed by the trappings of my success. The pressure to perform -- from beating last year's numbers, weighing potential risks against possible rewards and making payroll every two weeks -- the pressure can be consuming. There isn't a week that goes by where I don't mentally ponder walking away from it all and moving to a small village in Tuscany. Yet in my heart, I know I'm not alone: The nurse going to work today feels pressure to make life or death decisions; the teacher enters her classroom consumed by the pressure of the clock We are more alike than any of us realize.
I want to be a perfect wife: When I wrote my first book, 7 Steps to Successful Selling , I dedicated it to my mother and husband.
It said, "To my mom who gave me my wings and to my husband who taught me how to use them. For 25 years he has been by my side, believing in me, loving me, encouraging me, dreaming with me and supporting me through good and bad. I think of Dave all the time and have so many words I long to say, yet I get wrapped up on the chaos of life -- with the kids, work, and home -- and fail to express what's on my mind.
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I want to say thanks for choosing me, thanks for being such an amazing father, thanks for standing by my side no matter what. And I do at times, but not enough. I'm not a perfect wife, I wish I were. I do hope that I'm a good wife. I imagine the nurse who works double shifts or the teacher who is beyond stressed can relate. I wonder if they too want to be a perfect wife, yet like me, settle for being a good wife and then ask, "Is that enough?
I'm terrified to think of life after kids: I have two companies with lots to do on a daily basis. Yet, every so often, I'm reminded of how fleeting this moment of my life is -- that of being mommy. While I find myself complaining, what will I do when I don't have to cook three meals a day for my kids, clean up after them, do their laundry, go to sporting events or help with their homework?
I love my career, but my kids are my life. Yes, I realize there is life after kids -- or so I hear from moms who have been there -- but this is a road I've not yet traveled and I'm terrified! Who's going to hug me 10 times a day, say "I love you mommy" over and over, and have dance parties with me on Friday nights? This keeps me from becoming the worst mom ever — unless I forget to enter a particular event or appointment.
Any change in my routine has the potential to throw me off completely or even worse. When I realized my mistake, I did what many a parent would do … I panicked. What kind of mom forgets she needs to readjust her schedule to pick up her daughter?
MORE IN LIFE
I asked myself. Thank goodness another mom offered to wait with her until I got there since her daughter was playing with mine on the playground. Your energy level reaches new lows and your memory seems nonexistent. Of course, all moms get tired. I wish I could say that I have found a way to balance my family with my career. When I am focused on my kids, there are many times where I feel there is work stuff that gets neglected. My calendar app on my smartphone keeps me on track, but if I do forget to enter an appointment, my brain will act as if there never was any mention of that event.
Multitasking for me has meant that my attention might focus on something in that particular moment but hours later I have already forgotten it. We catch up with work when our kids are asleep or while waiting in the carpool line.
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The one thing we never seem to catch up with is self-care. Despite being good at setting limits with our kids, we tend to be very bad at enforcing healthy limits for ourselves.